Shock Value: Entry 193 "Online Etiquette"

Usually, I don't really surf the web. But, lately, due to circumstances beyond my control, like extreme boredom, I find myself perusing through web pages and other web sites observing various things. One of the things I noticed is we must have a serious conversation around the topic of "Online Etiquette." Some of you all are in serious violation of the standard of "Etiquette" that comes with internet usage. I am going to assume no one shared with you the dos and don'ts when it comes to the web, so I will do so right now. I know you are extremely happy to have your first computer, web cam or internet access, but there are certain things you must refrain from immediately. I am going to break them up into categories to guide you to "Online Etiquette" correctness. Let's get into them right now.

Photos

1) When you are taking a picture of yourself in the mirror, please take a minute to locate a bottle of windex and some napkins and at least try to clean the mirror. Pictures taken in a dirty mirror, make you look just that, dirty. But, hey that might be what you are going for.

2) If you are taking a picture of yourself again in said mirror, please make sure your kid is not standing in the background or in his/her walker while you are being provocative or are posing in a lingerie or while you are dressed scantingly clad. That kid was just watching SpongeBob, now s/he is scorned forever, because they now have seem mommy's breast again as a toddler and this time they ain't seeking milk to be fed.

3) If you know you drink too much, don't allow people to just take pictures of you while you are intoxicated. The drooling look, passed out look, or calling earl collect over the porcelain god (the toilet) is not a good look or attractive in anyway. Nor is it funny. You people have a sick sense of humor.

4) Maybe you think its okay, you terrible parent, but don't let your kids take pictures with money, weed, dressed inappropriately, guns or anything that may cause them to think its okay to do something they shouldn't do. Of course some of you babies have babies, so you don't know any better. Later on in life you will regret it and in the words of the asian lady from Menace II Society we all will be saying, "I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR MUDAH (MOTHER)."

Websites (Twitter, Myspace, Facebook, etc)

1) You are the lamest person in the world, and your tweets aren't helping you at all. Cut it out! Unless you have over 10, 000 followers or at least a grand, delete your twitter now. Face it, you just aren't that important or popular. You could just send a simple text message to the three people who are following you. Tweet That!

2) What's up with posting pictures of you from your prom? It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't attend prom in the early 90's. People don't want to see what you use to look like first, they want to see what you look like today. How do you think you are going to trick someone into forgetting in your pix you were like a size 2/3 but when they meet you at Starbucks you look like you swallowed 4 people who were a size 2/3? It ain't gonna happen boo boo. I am not saying there is anything wrong with putting on a few pounds, because all of us have, but be proud of how you look now and share that with the world, not your pictures when you were 17 and now your 27.

3) Its okay to talk about your kids on your pages, but don't put your kid's photos all over your page, especially when they are doing embarrassing things. These children will grow up one day and you don't want them to already be scarred because you thought it was funny to post a pix of them on your page eating out of the trashcan. Now we will refer to them as Oscar the Grouch forever.

4) If you are online, more than you are offline, you may have a problem. Those internet websites are for fun and entertainment purposes only. They are not reality. Don't get caught in the matrix. Don't be on your Facebook, etc at work or while you could be doing something more productive. Yes, it may be fun to catch up with old friends and class mates, but you have real people who live in the same house with you that need your attention, and they shouldn't have to starve because you are addicted to Plenty of Fish. Put away that fishing pole and cook some tater tots or something.

LORD knows I could go on. I might just do a Part II because as I type I can think of some other things you all do, that need to be addressed. If you all want a Part II let me know. Just remember this: Everyone has access to the web. What you put out there becomes publicly accessible. That means your pastor, parents, future/current boss, and/or husband/wife can see it. Be smart and responsible. If you think it may not be right to post, don't do it. It's better to be safe then sorry.

~Brutha www.getittogether.com