Shock Value: Entry 194 "Online Etiquette II"

Okay you all asked for it, so here it goes. Part deux of what has stirred up so much debate lately, "Online Etiquette." Today we will only have a Photo section as this is where the most help seems to be needed. We shall call it, "Online Etiquette II." Please pay attention and adhere to the following suggestions and before you get upset, offended or just laugh it off, take a moment to see if I am actually on point. Lets Go!

Photos

1) If you are going to take a picture of yourself in the mirror of your bedroom, for goodness sake at least take a moment to straighten up the top of the dresser, clean off your bed, pick stuff up off the floor. Clean up your life period you slob. Some of y'all rooms look like the collection dumpster and back ramp at the Salvation Army. Its sad! How do you live your life like that? Disgusting.

2) If you can't fit your whole body in the picture, that might be a sign that you need to use another camera. If your head, arm, or lower region is cut off by your picture, perhaps you need to just do the posing and let someone else do the photography.

3) Stop cutting people out of your pictures or using photo-shop or some other hood program to distort those people's faces. You liked them when you took the picture with them so don't be destroying their moment by cutting them out of the picture. Those people deserve better than your ghetto editing anyway. Just use another picture. Besides, you weren't that cute in the pix anyway. Cut your own head off!

4) Everyone cannot be a model. Let me repeat everyone cannot be a model. Ladies and Gents, I know you think you are the sexiest thing born to woman, but note to self, "You may not be as hot as you think." Stretch-marks and pot bellies aren't cute in print or in person. Put a top over your bathing suit or just wear a full fricking shirt. Your stomach look like a dirt bike race track. Kill your camera man. Nowadays, every hood chix and dude uses a semi-professional photographer to take photos of them. Actually, they use the guy from the club with the car on 22's back drop or that big wood stick Hawaiian chair. You gotta love Ninjas!

5) If you are going for classy and sophisticated in your picture, don't take it with your worst looking friend. I know we are suppose to be nice to everybody, but ladies you are quick to jump in a pix with your home gurl and you know she is only attractive in the shower, behind the curtain, with the door closed, in the dark, on a boat, in the middle earth, on a Tuesday. Stop letting these chix mess up your glamour shots. You will never get into Essence mag that way. Let them take pictures with the rest of the cast of Planet of the Apes. Same thing goes for you fellas.

6) STOP USING OUR DANG PRESIDENT in the background of your ridiculous g-hetto photos. He has enough going on now then to be unintentionally posing with you and your hood-rat friends looking broke, busted, and disgusted. It's just disrespectful to the umpteenth power.

7) Do like Teddy P and Turn on the Lights. Whats up with these dark photos.? WTH, are you a vampire or something? Perhaps you are a Lycan. Regardless, Twilight people, no one including you can see your face or your body for that matter. All we can see it teeth. And lets be honest, for some of you it's not your best feature. Find some light before you snap away unless you got something to hid from us. Perhaps you look like a gremlin eating chicken after 8p. Look out!

Stop laughing I am serious. This ain't funny and I ain't making it up either. I'm just saying what the rest of y'all be thinking.

~Brutha The Truth Set Me Free