Shock Value: Entry 177 "Man"

It's Friday and I

am so glad it is.

So should you.

Today's Topic: Man

Now, you know I wasn't going to let you slide Man. So in true I have to keep it even fashion, I have to ask questions of you Man. Just a few inquires that the ladies would love answers to. I think that it is very important for you all to attempt to provide some answers to the following. Although, I know in true Man style you probably will come up with some dumb or sarcastic response because now I am impeding on your personal time with your Xbox or remote control. My apologies in advance for interrupting you, but these questions need answers. If not you, then who? No need to waste any more of your precious time, just answer Man.

1) Why is it necessary to tell small dumb lies?

1a: Did you not get the memo that men are the worst liars on this planet? And if you got caught using that lie the first time why recycle it and try it again?

2) If your girlfriend is an honor student with eight job offers even before graduation, why would you cheat on her with an ex stripper who has 4 kids with 6 different daddies?

2a: Is the latter even possible?

3) Why do you find it necessary to compare your girl to your mom?

3a: If you love your mom so much, why not date her?

4) Why don't you shop for your girl like you do for shoes?

4a: You will wait months, years and hours in line for a new pair of J's but get frustrated when you have to wait 10 minutes in Victoria Secrets when your girl is trying to find lingerie to turn on your dumb butt.

5) Don't you understand that if you spend as much time with your gurl as you spent with your boys, she wouldn't complain about them or you going out with them all the time?

6) If the girl threw herself at you like a baseball, why would you catch it and sleep with it?

6a: You think your RocaWear jeans just that fire huh?

7) If it smells like a chicken head, looks like a chicken head, and even clucks like a chicken head, what do you think it is?

7a: No, she isn't just misunderstood.

8) You don't think anything is wrong with a g.a.m. (grown azz man) walking around everyday in a long white t-shirt?

8a: Probably not.

9) If you were able to talk to your girl for hours when you first met her, why all of a sudden now you only want to talk before she comes over to give you some, or through text?

10) Do you know a good woman when you see one?

10a: If so, why tell those small dumb lies?

There you have it. Once you have completed the items above you are free to continue wasting your life away playing video games and watching porn. You officially suck; go play in traffic.

~Brutha we share a private part and nothing else