Shock Value: Entry 180 "Closure"

It is not often that I will tell you about my weakness, but one of them is not knowing when to say when. I mean I will work diligently to make sure that I have done everything possible, including beating that dead horse to death, before I end something. Actually I never give up or end it, usually the other person does. But, no matter how hard I try at what I attempt, I have realized that what is most important to me is seeking "Closure."

There are times in life when things happen beyond our control. Then there are those other times when things happen that we can control but we chose to do nothing about. I am so confused as to why we don't know what we should do in some situations, but normally do the wrong things in other situations. I am on this external journey for "Closure." For example, I am not a person who necessarily has to have the last word, but I do want to make sure that the conversation doesn't end without each of us understanding what transpired. Now, this is usually a pointless effort, because who cares about "Closure" when you want to jump threw the phone and choke the other person? I do. For some strange reason, I have to have "Closure."

Perhaps, I have an addiction. I mean I have to find out what went right vs. what went wrong no matter what the circumstances. First, I aim to seek clarity in an effort to find, "Closure." It is extremely important for my day to day functionality for me to find "Closure" because without it I feel as if I just watched a movie, got to the good part, and then the lights shut off. Maybe this is just me and you have no idea what I am talking about, but don't worry if you are confused I will probably contact you tonight to see if I can find "Closure" regarding your understanding or lack thereof regarding my writings.

~Brutha I Need A 12 Step Program