Shock Value: Entry 3 "My Dear Sistah..A.K.A. I CAN TRANSFORM YA"

My Dear Sistah-

It has been awhile since we spoke, for a number of reasons. Perhaps, its because every time I see you, you look down or turn up your nose as if I shouldn't be looking your way anyway. Or, maybe its because my complete sentences and casual attire turn you off. Possibly, your just better than me. My bougie meter only goes so high. Since I am not sure about whatever it may be that prohibits you from giving me the time of day to speak with you, I decided to write you this communique' to give you a few points about men. Let me apologize in advance if anything below is common knowledge, but I have noticed your track record with men, so you may know it, but your sure don't act like it. However, please just keep these points in the back of your mind for future reference or when the next goon, clown, or gentleman approaches you. Yes, we all may look alike and say familiar things, but the essence of sincerity is in the clarity by which one makes you feel on the inside. Unfortunately, we are limited to the King's English, thus you are guaranteed to hear something more than once. Enough of that. Please take a moment to view the points below. If you should have any questions comments and/or concerns, feel free to write me back, whenever you feel I am worth of your time.

Things I Think You Should Know:

• I can transform ya!- Stop that nonsense. If a guy doesn't want to change from being a dog, dope boy, or just a plain unmotivated individual; embrace it and love him in the midst of his flaws. Unless he decides to make the change, your encouragements are only falling on deaf ears. You can't turn a boy into a man. If his momma wasn't successful, neither will you be. Sorry.
• Men will be men.- Yes, we hear you talking, but we just aren't listening completely, so in the words of Dave Chappelle, "wrap it up!"
• What do you expect us to do?- If you ask us a question, but you already have your mind made up or the answer in your head, we are going to tell you exactly what you want to hear, our truth. Although for some it may be a lie, its their truth at the moment. MEN ARE THE WORSE LIARS IN THE WORLD!
• Game on.- If the PS3 is on or your man's favorite team, instead of striking up a conversation, strike a match and fire up the grill or the stove. Cook him his favorite entree', serve it to him, and then join him on the couch as he coaches from the living room or sets out to be the greatest Madden champ of all time. Whatever you do, just don't talk!
• Bag Lady, you gon' miss your bus.- I know Shawn, Rico, or Red may have hurt you and perhaps they did it without intention, but I am not him or them. In the words of Pharell, "I JUST WANNA LOVE YOU BABY." But, I don't have room in this studio apartment for your baggage, so please pack lighter. I truly want you to join me on this trip---I need you here!
• You are what you say your are.- In no way shape or form should you let our ideals, thoughts or comments cause you to feel self-conscience about your looks or image as a whole. Who are we to tell you when you should cut your hair, join the gym, or discontinue a friendship with your bestie. As Katt Williams said, "Its self esteem, esteem of your self." Don't let any man define you. We are here to complement you, not COMPLETE you.
• Keep ya head up!- I know when you look around the pool of men in your vicinity looks slim, but you have to keep the faith. I truly believe there is someone for everyone, so stop settling for Mr. Right Now and make room for MR. RIGHT. Oh yeah, and your homegirl who couldn't keep a man if he was her skin, should have no impact on any of your relationship decisions. If she had all the answers, she wouldn't be constantly calling you and trying to serve as your personal advisor. Politely tell her to get a life, and let you live yours.

I could go on and on, but these are a few things I think you should know. Contrary to popular opinion, some of us do care about you. We respect our grandmothers and mothers and even on a few Sundays or Easter, go to church too. We have sisters and daughters and want them to be afforded the same opportunity to find love as we are. So, stop tripping over yourself before I ask GOD for my rib back! If you should need me in the future, I ain't 50, so you won't find me in the club. I will be right here, there, and everywhere should ever you need me in any shape, form, or fashion. Until we meet again..... (signed) Your Future---well, when stop living in the past!!!