Shock Value: Entry 50 "Self-Esteem, --Its Esteem of Yourself"

Hey Hey Hey-

I recently had a conversation with one of my homegirls. She was telling me how she is frustrated with the way her man says she looks. She in her own words, stated that she has gotten comfortable with him and picked up a few pounds. And for that reason, her man is complaining and making comments that hurt her feelings. Now, I am very sensitive to women and believe that we all should, especially men, be more attentive and sensitive to their needs. I wanted to have a conversation with this brother, but she begged me not to. So, I decided to pull out my couch and have a Black Dr. Phil Session.

The very first thing I asked was how did she feel about herself. You know, if you don't feel pretty, think you are fine, or feel good about yourself, no one else will. I simply explained to her the importance of managing your own self esteem. In the immortal words of Kat Williams, "no one should be able to lower your self esteem; It's esteem of your got d*mn self." While he said it jokingly, there is a serious message behind this punch line.

People in life will always judge you. They will have opinions on everything you do, but you have to decide what works for you and go with it. I told my homegirl what I tell all of my fam: A significant other should only compliment you and not complete you. Now, I can't say I understand this whole love thing, but I realize people do a number of insane things in the name of love. When I asked her was he still the same as when she met him, she quickly responded, "hell no!" I let her know at that moment, no one in life is perfect, so we have to appreciate our imperfections. The things you can change, do something about it, the things you can't leave it to the MAN upstairs.

Remember, the whole point of being in a relationship is to have someone who you can relate to. Don't let people try to change you or define you with their opinions of who you are; how you should look; and what they think you should look like. I am not so sure my homegirl got my message completely, but I am sure she understood my intentions. Overall, I just wanted her to realize that she must love herself, no matter what and if anyone, man or not, doesn't love her for who she is, then they may not be the one that deserves her. That goes for all of you too.

It's Called Self Esteem; IT'S ESTEEM OF YOUR D*MN SELF---PIMP'N!

The Black Dr. Phil

~Enjoy your holiday! Be safe, smart, and responsible.~